Listings
by One Shot Effin Wonder Babe
Summary: "I gathered a list in my head." That's where it all went bad. SasuxSaku One-shot ItaxOC


Hello everyone who lives and dry-heaves on this planet we call Earth! If you haven't heard of me, well, you should be shot in the ass with a shotgun. Buuuuut, since I'm a fairly _nice_ girl, I'll let you in on a secret! Bum bum bum baaaaaaah!

My name is Haruno, Sakura Haruno. Kinda like James Bond, but….Konoha style! Er…Moving on. I have this, like totally weirdo/freak/awesome/geeky/cool….Wait...Where am I going with this again? Oh shit, right. I have this freaky pink hair, which is totally natural and all that. I swear on Sasuke-Kun's ASS its natural!

Oh yeah, you have no clue who I'm talking about.

Well, _shit again_. I like to ramble, have you noticed yet, my dear Jell-O-s? I think not. Damn, now I want Jell-O. Moving on again, Uchiha Sasuke is like, only my best friend in the whole wide world! Along with Ino, Kat, Naruto, Hinata, Tenten… Oops, I strayed off again. Like I was saying, I might not be his best friend, but surely, he's _mine_.

And DUH! I'm totally IN-LOVE with the bastard! He has this chicken ass shaped hair (coal black babes!), a nice, firm body (hot _hot_ HOTTIE!), and…

And then there's his eyes. They're captivating, beautiful onyx. I love them. If I could name only _one_ good thing about his looks, it wouldn't be his body, no no! It'd be his damn eyes. I _drown_ in them every time I see him.

So, um, shall we get to the story? Right. It starts with me, Sakura, sitting on _my_ couch, in _my_ living room, in _MY_ DAM HOUSE! So why OH _WHY_ DID KAT JUST WALK IN AND PLOP ON ME AND MY COUCH?

"Kat!" I hissed. I glared at her and she looked up to me with puffy red eyes. I gasped. "Oh dear, I'm sorry! What the hell got you crying?" she looked up and grasped my Linkin Park shirt. I got it at a concert with Sasuke-Kun.

"I can't do this anymore Sakura… I can't keep pretending I'm not in love with him when he's with that _woman_! I can't do it Sak…" she sobbed hopelessly and I huffed. Kat was a confident person, I knew, and seeing her like this set me off.

"No Kat, you can't." Her eyes widened. "You can't do it if you're sitting in my house being a pathetic little girl. Katty, this isn't you. Snap out of it and go tell the bastard you love him, _damn_!" She sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes dry.

"You're right. I shouldn't be acting like this. Sakura, I'm sorry." She stood up and I grabbed her hand before she stalked out of the door. Her stare burned into my skin and I gave her a grin. I stood up as well, grabbed her arms and twirled around with her. She looked surprised at first, but soon smiled and jumped around with me.

"You're the one that I want! Oo oo ooo!" I sang loudly and very off-key. I can't sing for the _devil _himself!

"The one that I want! Oo oo ooo!" Kat shrieked. She can't sing either.

"THE ONE THAT I WANT! OO OO OOO HONEY! OH YES INDEED!" We screamed and jumped up on my orange couch. We jumped up and down singing the song until we giggled so hard we couldn't sing anymore. Suddenly, Kat stopped and pointed out my big bay window (I'm proud of that thing, I worked my butt off to pay for it). There stood Itachi.

I huffed and lead Kat up the stairs into my bedroom. She sat on the bed and looked down, muttering '_I can do this…_' over and over. I came back down to see him standing at my white door. I quickly opened it and nodded towards the couch. As he sat down, I ran to get us some cokes.

I threw one at his head when I came back in and saw him in the same position as Kat. He let it hit him on the side of his head and I rolled my eyes. The furniture let out a groan as I flopped down beside him.

"Hey Ita-Kun, what's been up? How's…um…" I trailed off, forgetting his friend's name. Well, I kinda figured they were going out but y'know, I like to hope for the best. He muttered a name, but I didn't hear it. I huffed and hit him on the back of his head. He yelped and look at me, startled.

"What?" I asked, looking bored.

"You hit me. Why,_ why_ would hit me?"

"You answered me and I didn't hear, plus you're acting like a big baby. Sorta like Sasuke-Kun when I steal his tomato and then keep it away from him and he has to chase me but I'm like a rabbit and he can't catch me so he gets angrier so I threw it at him and it hit his face and tomato splattered all over his face and he looked _angry_ so I licked his face and-" Itachi put a hand over my mouth.

"You're rambling."

"Oh. Oh shit, sorry man." Itachi looked down and sobered.

"You love her, don't you? That girl." I pulled my knees up to my chest and was silent, which is weird for me. I knew what his answer was going to be. I was waiting for the worst. I gathered a list in my head. After this I'll have to cheer up Kitty, get ice cream, send her home, make her sleep, get a beer, call Sasuke-Kun, get another beer, get drunk with Sasuke-Kun, go home with Sasuke-Kun, watch the stars with Sasuke-Kun, and fall asleep by Sasuke-Kun. _Yep_.

"I don't know. Sakura, I don't know." I was startled. What?

"How can you not know Itachi? Do you love her? Do you love Kat? I wonder sometime Itachi. I really do. You're _hurting_ her. Make up your mind Itachi. Make up your Goddamn mind. Damn it!" I stood up and began to run upstairs when he caught my wrist.

"I just don't deserve her."

"What?" I cried. I shook his shoulders, even thought he was a _lot_ taller. "WHAT?" He looked away.

"I don't deserve anyone as good as Kat. She deserves a better man." I gasped and slapped him in the face.

"You don't deserve her now, because you've hurt her over something so trivial!" He looked down again. He went to the door and I huffed. I huff a lot. He opened the door and walked out. "Wait!" He stopped.

"Do you love her Itachi? Straight answer."

"_Yes_."

"Then go. She's upstairs."

Did you guys know that if you mix chocolate ice cream with beer, you get an awesome flavor? Yeah, it's awesome. I could sit here all day and eat this crap. It's almost as good as Jell-O! No, Jell-O is still better. _But yeah_.

I have evacuated my house, because Itachi and Kat are '_talking'_. My poor old couch… Being made-out on. It sucks. So here I am! I crossed out some stuff on my list, because I don't have to cheer Kat up. Itachi is officially her boyfriend. This is good, because Kat deserves him. He deserves her, too. _Yeah. Kinda like I don't deserve Sasuke-Kun._

Anyways, I'm about to do the next item on the list, calling Sasuke-Kun.

I dug around in the pocket of my jeans and my fingers found my iPhone. I quickly pressed the 2 **(Does an iPhone have speed dial? I can't afford one right now**!) And his name came up.

**Calling—**

**Mister Chicken-Ass 333**

He still doesn't know that's his name in my contacts. _Ehe heh heh. _I put the phone up to my ear and heard ringing.

"_What?"_

"Sasuke-Kun! Don't answer me like that!"

"_Sorry, didn't look at the I-D. Hello Sakura. Better?"_

"Much. Heya Sasuke-Kun!"

"_What do you need?"_

"Well you're brother and my best friend are currently making out on my couch as boyfriend girlfriend. And I made this list earlier, and you're on it so meet me at the ice-cream shack in the park?"

"_What's next?"_

"Get another beer, why?"

"_You know I hate it when you drink."_

"Then why do you do it? Huh huh?"

"_I don't care if I drink, I care if _you_ drink. Idiot."_

"Hey! I'm not an idiot! And plus, I won't get drunk. Yet."

"_Sakura."_

"Fine fine! I won't get too drunk, jeez. Just come meet me, please?"

"_Fine. I'll be there soon."_

"Thank you Sasuke-Kun! Love you!"

"_Yeah yeah, you too."_

I slid my phone back into my pocket and giggled. I was getting drunk with Sasuke-Kun tonight! I sat down on a rickety bench and waited for Sasuke-Kun. Lots of people passed by.

I stared at the many couples with envy in my green eyes. I wished I could walk with Sasuke-Kun like that that. I mean, I would never ever tell him that, but yes, I do wish that. I saw one couple walk by, hand in hand. The girl was giggling, and the boy kissed her on the cheek. It made her blush and giggle more. I looked away.

Soon, I saw Sasuke-Kun walking towards me. He was wearing a white dress shirt and black baggy jeans. His hair looked done a little nicer and his hands were in his pockets. And his eyes… _Oh…_

I looked down and secretly seethed at my band tee and scruffy jeans and messy pink hair. Why couldn't I look as good as him? I looked away and stood up quickly. I plastered a _fake _smile on my face and waved.

"Sasuke-Kun! You came! _Yaaay!"_ I twirled a bit before he caught me.

"If you do that you'll trip and hurt yourself." He smirked. I pouted and grabbed his hand. I pulled him towards _The Pin_, a local club/bar that everyone went to.

"Time for beer numba two!" I cried. "I'll make sure you drink two by the time I finish my second, so we can get drunk together." I said as we walked in.

"I'm not letting you get drunk Sakura." I rolled my eyes.

"Okay fine, then _close_ to drunk!" He sighed and complied.

"So, are you glad we're friends Sasuke-Kun?" We were currently in Sasuke-Kun's big garden, the field quarter, laying down in the grass watching the stars. I was laying with my head his chest and my hand in his big one. He didn't mind.

"We aren't just friends Sakura. You're my best friend." He looked up to the moon. I gaped and sat up.

"Sasuke…Are you serious?" I asked. He grunted. I laid back down on his chest. I could hear his heart beat. It sped up and was beating very quickly.

"Sakura."

"Yes Sasuke-Kun? What is it? Do you not like me laying on you? Should I move?" I whimpered. I wanted to stay _here_, I could hear his heartbeat, I could feel his breathe, and I could smell the beer we had on his tongue. I felt _safe_.

Before I could move off, he grabbed my head lightly.

"Don't." I nodded softly and laid back down again. His heart sped up again. I wondered what was wrong with him.

"Are you alright Sasuke-Kun?" I asked quietly. He nodded.

"Hey, I have something to tell you, okay Sasuke-Kun?" He nodded again.

"Don't freak out Sasuke-Kun." I sat up and looked at him.

"I love you, Sasuke-Kun. I really do." He didn't say anything, and I wasn't surprised. I got up and started to stand up but he pulled me back down. I fell and my lips crashed down on his. My eyes widened, but I didn't pull away, and neither did he.

He started to move and kiss me harder. I complied and kissed him back. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I was doing something. Soon, we broke apart and I blushed.

"You stole… you _stole my first kiss_." My eyes widened.

"_Good_." He breathed and pulled me down for another kiss. When he pulled away and I was lying on top of him again, I broke our silence.

"Does this mean… That maybe you love me too?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Sakura, I've loved you for a long, long time." He replied.

"_Long_ long?"

"_Long_ long."

"Oh. Well, me too."

"Since we were 8."

"Yup. Me too. Isn't that funny Sasuke-Kun?"

"Yeah." I grinned.

"Sasuke-Kun, does this mean I'm your girlfriend?"

"I'm guessing you want to be. I see you staring at the couples all the time." I blushed.

"I wanted to walk around with you like that. I don't know why…"

"I can't guarantee we'll walk like that all the time."

"That's okay."

"We'll have _lots _of alone time Sakura. We'll make up."

"Gosh Sasuke-Kun, you're getting me all hot and bothered."

"Sakura."

"I was joking you ass."

"Go to sleep."

"Goodnight Sasuke-Kun. I love you."

"I love you too."

So I didn't end up doing lots of stuff on that list, but I did fall asleep with Sasuke-Kun. And we are happily in love. Kat is with Itachi, planning to get married soon, and I'm just Sasuke-Kun's girlfriend. But I'm going to be her MoH.

I'm cool not being engaged right now. I don't know if Sasuke-Kun would be ready for marriage. He's not a fan of PDA, but makes up for it behind our closed door. _Yummy._

So I'm Sakura Haruno, which you just found out today. I hope you have had fun reading this story! You can get out before I shoot you in the ass with my shotgun. _Yeah._

Peace, love, and rockets,

Sakura Haruno

* * *

Konnichiwa minna! How are you? I hope you enjoyed my one-shot. It wasn't long, because I don't have the time right now to make it longer. Sorry! I hope you like it! Please read and review! I'll see you soon, minna!


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